“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

These rather self-deceptive feelings are not hidden deeply in the subconscious mind, as you might suppose. Instead, in the majority of cases they consist of quite conscious decisions, made at one time or another on quite surface levels.

They are not forgotten, but the people involved simply close their own eyes, so to speak, to those decisions, and pretend (underlined) that they do not exist, simply to make their lives appear smooth and to save face with themselves, when they know very well that the decisions really rest on very shaky ground indeed.

I do not wish to simplify matters, but such decisions can be uncovered very easily in children. A child might fall and badly scrape a knee — so badly that limping is the result, at least temporarily. Such a child will often be quite conscious of the reason for the affair: he or she may openly admit the fact that the injured part was purposefully chosen so that a dreaded test at school could be missed, and the child might well think that the injury was little enough to pay for the desired effect that it produced.

(4:27.) If the same kind of event occurs with any frequency, their fear of the world and of daily events may grow until it becomes quite unreasonable. Still, in most such instances those inner decisions can be easily reached — but while people are determined to “save face,” they will simply refuse to accept those decisions as their own. People will (underlined) to live, to act or not to act. To a large extent they will (underlined) the events of their lives — whether or not they are willing to admit this to themselves, and they will (underlined) to die.

It is no coincidence, in your language, that the word “will” refers to the future, as in a line like “it will happen,” and also refers to the decision-making quality of the mind.