“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

These are helpful hints for him to consider. He is used to feedback from others. He enjoys ideas, but in that regard he does not trust himself. When he is alone and writing, the distrust of the self becomes apparent. He does not trust the expression without the feedback.

The direct expression through writing confuses him, for he is faced with a different kind of construction, say, than one might feel in a kindergarten, where blocks of wood carry the alphabet, and physical blocks might be moved around to form words. At the same time he is afraid of feedback, and he has learned to minimize his hearing to protect himself from criticism. The writing represents strong portions of Frank’s personality that are intently concerned with the expression of subjective feelings—feelings that appear nebulous at times because they cannot be expressed—so it seems to him—in a direct fashion.

The writing became a symbol for the expression of thoughts that could not be verbalized in childhood. This carried over into the writing, and comes to the forefront now because of his father’s condition. He wanted to express love for his father as a child far more openly than he felt his father would allow. He felt that his father would consider such demonstrations not masculine.

When he learned to write, he thought of writing to express such thoughts, and was always tempted to use writing as an expression of those subjective feelings he felt were forbidden—not just directed toward his father, but feelings of which he felt his father would disapprove. Writing therefore became a charged activity in any area.

It seems that such expressions of love would now come too late. Expressing such love now, however, would show immediate benefits.