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ECS2 ESP Class Session, June 30, 1970 5/39 (13%) guilt Derek guilty props penance
– The Early Class Sessions: Book 2 Sessions 1/6/70 to 12/29/70
– © 2008 Laurel Davies-Butts
– ESP Class Session, June 30, 1970 Tuesday

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

Now, you were early given the idea that a portion of your personality was guilty and therefore you were relieved when you were told that there were methods whereby you could receive this guilt. You accepted, for example, the penances and so forth because as a child, given the idea of guilt, you wondered what punishment would befall you.

Now, a child is very dependent upon a parent. To the child a parent seems like God and, therefore, a child feels guilty, feels afraid that the parent will cast him out, particularly the mother, so the child then feels he will be completely abandoned. Now, if the guilt is severe enough, as unfortunately it often is, this pseudo-guilt, then the young adult will do almost anything to relieve it. He does not realize that what he actually feels is the early fear of the child of the parents’ abandonment. This is not in his conscious mind and therefore anything else is accepted with relief.

When you felt you had done enough penance, you did not know how to deal with the part of you you thought you had left. You were so used to thinking of yourself as guilty, and here you had a new sense to deal with. You were like a child with a new toy, and how could it be as good as you supposed and where was the hidden blemish, and so you have been looking for the hidden blemish. In the back of your mind also you wonder if you haven’t done enough penance, and so you worry and stew. You are making progress, however. You are looking inward and you are accepting the responsibility for yourself and your own development.

[... 10 paragraphs ...]

(To Gert.) Now, you must honor yourself and do yourself justice. Until you can honor and love yourselves you cannot honor nor love anything else or anyone else, and as long as you see yourselves as guilty, then you will see guilt in every other person you look at, and you will see evil in the nature of reality. The answers, you see, are within yourselves. It is only when you do not realize they are there that you have such difficulties. You have only to let go.

Imagine that your fear is a ball and throw it out the window. You do not need it. You see, you are so convinced that you are guilty and you are so convinced that your ego is the most important part of you, when instead it is only the portion of yourselves that you focused upon as a child. Once you realize your basic freedom you can use it. Psychological time simply allows you to let go, to relax.

[... 21 paragraphs ...]

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