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TPS5 Deleted Session April 18, 1979 5/47 (11%) soda contemplation Maalox stomach disapprove
– The Personal Sessions: Book 5 of The Deleted Seth Material
– © 2016 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Deleted Session April 18, 1979 9:42 PM Wednesday

[... 10 paragraphs ...]

(My side hurts because I’m afraid all of Jane’s work won’t be—and isn’t—appreciated. Through My Eyes isn’t involved—my projected biography.

[... 12 paragraphs ...]

With your projects of the past finished, the “man who needed a job” had no job. It was as if he were laid off, and immediately had to find a new job. That man approves of creative projects only when he thinks of them as jobs, when they become acceptable as legitimate male pursuits. Commercial art is beautiful there, for at one time it allowed you to paint because (underlined) you were immediately repaid, and that made art legitimate. (With some ironic humor:) I am laying it on here. And forgive a bit of gentle—gentle—sarcasm, but to your puritan American soul, art for its own sake, or contemplation, still somehow goes against the grain.

Your basic personality, the first man is immensely pleased simply that the money comes. He is pleased with the time that has been gained, with the abilities that he has used and developed, and filled with a natural creative zest. You have not completely approved of him, however. The taxes bothered you more this time because they fell just after your projects were finished. You have a nervous stomach—and (heartily) I would have one too if I were forever taking sides against myself, and not approving whatever side I happen to be on at any given time.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

In your own way you often do the same thing. Sometimes your body bothers you, and it is saying “You worry too much. You need to relax, so that I can relax.” Instead, you then promptly worry about your body, concentrate upon its malfunctions, focus upon its problems. It is the overall approach to daily life that is important. The rules, again, appear too simple: refuse to worry. Trust that you know your next projects. Allow them to happen, and forget all projected limited suppositions, such as “I will never have the time to do this or that,” for those limitations do not exist in fact. In fact, period.

The projects that you are meant to do can be done in your lifetime. The ones that are not done are not done for a reason, because they do not fit in with your nature, or because they can be handled in a different way, or whatever, but you must trust that the spontaneous self understands the overall shape of your life, and its creative contexts and contents.

[... 16 paragraphs ...]

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